Thank you mother Earth and spirit of cacao!
I’m filled with gratitude and humbled after a beautiful cacao session with a client today. My life is changing in so many ways at the moment and I’m in a deep detoxing and rewiring process on all levels, helped by Chiric Sanango still working in my system, Kambo, a decision to not have any sugar and bread while I’m working with the Frog medicine (to clear and clean out my system), and my lastest work with the star medicines. Old patterns, ways of thinking, tendencies in my nervous system and way of relating to others are showing up with a clarity that I haven’t experienced before. And it’s no fucking picnic, to be honest! All the while starting a new job, making major changes to my business and my life in general. When I succeed in taking a step back and rise above the waves that sometimes feel like they are gonna drown me, I actually feel extremely proud of myself!
Just a year ago this level of stress and changes in so many areas of my life at one time would have left me crippled, curled up in fetal position in my bed for months; paralyzed not being able to move out of a total state of collapse in my nervous system. And even though I have times where I feel completely overwhelmed and broken and my mind is telling me that it’ll never change it’s now only hours or max a day until I’m able to regulate myself out of the collapse or reach out for help to do so, and in that, restore strength and hope to keep going. I’m taking loving care of myself with healthy, consistent routines; doing breathwork and meditating every day, making and eating healthy food, finding time to do things that nourish me like long walks in nature, floating and lately sauna and ice baths. And not just as a acute life-saving action to fill an empty battery but consistently to make sure the battery is not running completely flat. I’m noticing myself not being as reactive as I used to be, being able to breathe deeper into my triggers, slow down and shakily but surely communicating and setting boundaries from a more healthy, centered place, truly feeling and believing that I deserve the same respect and love from others that I now give to myself! These are the times where I am most grateful for my work with clients because it always makes me feel better, more grounded, deeper connected and leaves me with a deep sense of meaning and purpose!
It seems like I’m not the only one in a major detoxing and rewiring process at the moment so that’s part of why it felt important to share!
So to all of you struggling right now I just want to say: You are not alone! You are doing an amazing job, keep going – you got this!
Remember to celebrate your victories and reach out for support when you need a loving, helping hand to regulate and someone to lean on when the going gets tough. No man is an island and we need each other to co-regulate and move back into connection!